I had no idea what I would be doing but my mind was already made up I had an unwritten plan for ministry already made up in my mind. It kind of in a way scares me because what other things have I already falsely made up?
Often in life I feel as though I tend to make an exact expectation for any and all situations. I have word for word what I will be doing, often based on what I have done before. I base it off of the past even though it is the future. I look at it as if it will be the same, even though it is a new day.
As it is I know the plans I make for myself are not always the best. That is what I am forever thankful to have a Father whose plans are perfect. He sees all and knows all. Even when I am disappointed that my life doesn’t go the way I planned I can be joyful in the presence of the Lord. I can rejoice in His perfect plan and His wonderful ways.
As it turns out my plans were wrecked. I started this trip off thinking of it like my previous ones. In the beginning I was comparing it to my other trips. I was looking for parallels and getting disappointed that there were none. I was not taking into account that every trip is a new one. Every one will be different. I should look at every trip as its’ own, holdingno expections above it. Thank the Lord though, it has still been fruitful in the wreckage of my plans, my being here is being used. Although it is different, I am being used. God works and always shows up.
What have we done?
This week has been greater than I could have asked for. Not only has it been awesome in the physical things we are doing but also in those transformations the Lord is making in my mind, so many little revelations and epiphanies. It’s awesome how much the Lord speaks should we sit down a listen. How much He wants to say as soon as we recognize His still, small, voice.
In church the topic was sheep. We are sheep. And we too have the job to follow but also to learn and know the Fathers’ voice, to recognize His simple, loving voice. Faith.
“One day he got into a boat with his disciples, and he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.” So they set out, and as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?””
He said, “Where is your faith?” Saying What have you put your faith in?” In church Pastor P. said something like, “how many times have you put your faith in something other than the Father. How many times has He said “When I told you to speak over ____ what did you put your faith in?” Okay God wow. This gets me thinking hardcore where I put my faith. When I comepare trips, where is my faith. When I dwell in the past, where is my faith. When I am stuck in my head, where is my faith. Where is my faith? In Christ is where it should be. I rejoice that no matter how many times I put it elsewhere He is always waiting for me to bring it back to Him. Thank you Lord for never giving up to me, always offering grace and showing me mercy.
James 4:3 “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”
I think/know that sometimes my expectations come from my wrong motives. Expecting something so that I can get what I should not be wanting. My motives should be those written in scripture not those written in the world or those thought of in my head. My motives should be those used to grow the kingdom not those used to grow myself.
Matthew 10:8 “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay.”
I should look forward to so freely giving away what I have so freely received. This overwhelming love come overflowing from me. This gift of salvation like Selah says, I should be singing this Sweet Sweet Song of Salvation.